The Ethical Slut: A guide to infinite sexual possibilities

Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt
(Greenery Press, 1997, 279 pp, RRP £11.99)

According to therapist and sex author Easton and Liszt, a slut is someone ‘having all the sex and love and friendship they want’. The ethical part is where this book comes in; despite the usual sexist equations of sluts as desperate women looking for fucks instead of relationships, or predatory harlots who’ll steal your honey as soon as look at them, this guidebook to ‘infinite sexual possibilities’ takes loving and learning as its basic ground rules and introduces the beginner to all the pitfalls, permeations and benefits of polyamorory – the art of loving different people at the same time. For folks used to the socially-approved route of monogamy (and its roguish cheats), The Ethical Slut shows how multiple relationships can work out in the open, to increase people’s self-esteem, capacity for expanded relationships, and sense of personal autonomy. Sounds crazy? It’s not. Polyamoury is sure as hell difficult, as the authors demonstrate with plenty of real-life examples, but the benefits can help a lover flourish and break out of that mutual problematic of thinking just one other person ‘completes you’ (you complete yourself, see, all other relationships just add that yummy icing, cherries and chocolate buttons to the proverbial cake). Getting down to the nitty gritty, this guide covers all the ‘slut skills’ you need- communication tips and ‘rules’ to help booster a sense of security and comfort, the importance of boundaries and safer-sex to keep you sane and healthy, and the big almighty crusher of swingers and fidelity couples alike: how to tame that beast of jealously. An important trouble-shooter for the monogamous and the poly equally, this book shows you how to bring in harmony, deep satisfaction and pleasure to any relationship you want.

Reviewed by Red Chidgey